Recently I said goodbye to someone who should have been in my life forever. I took a stand and removed said person from my “I mean something to you” list. Why? Because I didn’t mean anything to that person. When you care about someone, you care about their wants and needs. You invest time into them. You respect their wishes and opinions. You care enough to apologise if you’ve done something wrong and you work on repairing the relationship.
I’ve written a lot about positive vibes, giving people the benefit of the doubt and loving people for who they are. Today, I’m writing about loving people from afar. Today, I’m letting you know that it’s okay to let go of those people in your life that don’t appreciate and love you for you. It’s okay to let go of those people who bring you down or disrespect you. It’s okay to remove those people who choose not to listen to your needs, to maintain a healthy, peaceful relationship.
Even, when it is a family member.
When I was growing up all I ever heard was, “blood is thicker than water.” All I ever heard was, “but he’s family, just forgive him.” All I ever heard was, “that’s just the way he is, you know this.” All I ever heard was excuse after excuse for bad behavior and disrespect. I was taught that I had to accept this behavior, because he was family. Now in my 30th year, I have finally come to terms with the fact that it is okay to let go of someone from your life who continues to take no ownership or responsibility for the bad behavior or disrespect they bring to your life. No matter who they are.
You have a right to ask that person to take ownership of their actions and to not disrespect you. You have a right to tell them what behavior you do and don’t appreciate. You have a right to ask them to respect these needs or otherwise not be a part of your life.
It will hurt, when they choose to not respect your needs and choose not be apart of your life. It will feel like your heart has been torn from your chest because someone you have accepted for the majority of your life for who they are is refusing to accept who you are and what you need. It will hurt. But what would you rather? Years more of heart ache still to come because this person can’t adult? Or would you rather rip the band aid off fast? Have that moment of intense pain, dust off your shoulders and keep moving forward?
This is not to say that this person will never be a part of your life again. On the contrary, I hope that one day he will step up and be the man I know he can be. But for the moment, the man he is, is not someone I want to be a part of my life.
Since I turned 30, I have consciously chosen to surround myself with family and friends that respect me, love me, encourage me and encourage positivity in my life. People who have the time for me and vice versa. If there is one piece of advice I can give you. It would be to do the same and do it soon. De-clutter your life from those negative influences, those people that bring you down instead of build you up. You don’t have to put up with bad behavior. You get to choose who you want in your life. You get to choose to be happy in this life and it’s up to you to make those choices to ensure you are happy.
Of course, I don’t mean we should get rid of every person in our life that makes a mistake or has a negative or bat-shit crazy moment – haha. Cause we all do that. I just mean, those people in your life that suck the life out of you and consistently disappoint you. The ones that have been there for years and you have made every excuse under the sun to explain away their behavior. You know how draining they are, how emotionally and physically draining it can be and you know it is time to let them go.
Since I started de-cluttering my life, I have found that I actually have the energy and time for those people in my life that need it. I am emotionally and physically available to my friends and family and I love being there for them. I am not burdened by the weight of those negative influences anymore. I embrace my life fully because I have made a conscious decision about who stays and who goes. I have made a conscious decision to recognize my worth and not let those negative influences tear me down.
The first step though, is recognizing your worth and realising that you don’t need to put up with that behavior.
Once you do, I can assure you that life will seem so much brighter (after the initial heartache). It will feel like a burden has been lifted off your shoulders and you will find yourself attracting like minded, beautiful people around you with similar interests and life aspirations. And even when you don’t, you just need to remember that you can choose to have them in your life or not.
Happy De-cluttering 🙂